January 25-February 5, 2012: I'm molting, I'm molting....

I'm molting, I'm molting....

The Chemo instructions said that I could start losing my hair between the 2^nd to 4^th week of chemo.  To test the theory, I played with my hair for a few days prior to the 2 week mark by gently pulling it.  Day 14, and still no signs of de-foliage.  Come day 15 the telltale signs started.  All I had to do was to run my hand through my hair with very little tension, and voila, I had a hand full of hair.

I probably would have been more emotional about losing my locks, but you know getting rid of my nasty infection seemed to take some priority to the vanity of losing my hair. 

So after joking with the boys about losing my hair a few weeks earlier, the reality has settled in.  Within days (or what seemed like hours), I went from, pulling a small handful of hair out (it really just breaks off and the texture changes somewhat to a more crunchy feel-yum) to hair falling out on its own and getting everywhere--my fleece vests and jackets turned into hair magnets.  If you have seen the "Harry Potter" movies where the Whomping Willow Tree twists itself up and then vigorously and quickly shakes all its leaves off for winter - that is more or less what this hair loss adventure started to become.  I do also like the "Wizard of Oz" play on words: "I'm molting, I'm molting" instead of "I'm melting, I'm melting" (play on words courtesy of Graeme Thomson).  There are many other analogies I can use, but unfortunately only teenage movie parallels seem to come to mind -- I think I have been hanging out with the boys for far too long so I won't bore you with any more analogies for now:o)

So what to do about adorning my crown?....

Since Todd and I have been kept busy with going to Eagle Ridge Hospital twice a day as well as all the doctor’s appointments, blood work, etc, I have not been able to shop for a wig as I had originally intended.  As I have learned, wigs these days can look and feel pretty good--even better than our own hair and style, just don't get the synthetic wigs (which seems to be the advised preference) close to any heat like dishwasher steam or they will melt instead of molt:o).  I will probably still get one once I have time to get out and who knows what color and style I end up with!

While I wait to adorn my top side with a swanky wig, what to do, what to do...

I have a few knitted and sewn hats I can use that have been donated by the cancer center, but I need to get more hip than the cancer center regulation attire if I am going to be a true cancer babe.  Then wouldn't you know it, just like many other wishes I have had lately, my cancer “Jeannie” conjured up a bag full of funky scarves and hats by way of my very funky and tremendously kind neighbor Laura.  Laura came by and we had fun testing out the booty and played around with scarf designs and testing hats on their own or with a scarf under the hats.  So far my favorite is a funky grey scarf with a burgundy hat over top.  It will be fun to mix and match in the coming days and then see what we can come up with for spring and summer.  It reminds me of having to find decent clothes while I was pregnant that suited the different seasons that the pregnancy expanded.  I may not get a baby at the end of this labor, but I am hoping for the lease on life that I was always hoping to have.

The fun we are having with this part of the cancer journey has been varied.  On the first day of chemo, I pretended with the boys when they came home from school that all my hair had fallen out on the first day by hiding my hair under one of the cancer center hats.  While this rouse did not work on Iain (since he is Mr. Too Cool for His Shoes, he is too smart for me and because I did not play it up enough), however, it worked like a charm with Graeme because we all got in on the act.  Poor Graeme was distraught for a few minutes thinking that it was really true before we all gave up the ghost.  Yup lots of heavy sarcasm and dark humor in our household these days.

What has also been interesting is how to manage all the hair that is falling out.  Should I cut it short, should I shave it all off, should I just let it fall out on its own-- decisions, decisions, decisions... Well time and having hair with a mind of its own can solve many such dilemmas.  With each day that went by, the speed and quantity of hair lose was interesting and alarming.  I couldn't keep a hair appointment I made with my hairdresser, so Todd and I took matters in our own hands and Todd became my hairdresser.  He was able to produce a rather nice and fairly even bob cut after combing out what seemed like an endless amount of hair.  Voila, I now had "Hair by Todd" (this is best said with a French accent).  No sooner did I have this great bob cut, when my hair fell in droves and almost made this hair cut mute--Todd was devastated after creating his first (and probably only) hair masterpiece.  Since time, chemo nature and a well timed shower have a way of solving many dilemmas, so much hair fell out in a 24 hour period, we decided that Todd could cut off all my hair so that, at the very least, it would not get everywhere or clog our drains.  We also took the advice from Carole (my latest cancer babe friend whom I met through my Eagle Ridge Hospital IV club) to donate my fallen lox to the birds in the neighborhood for their nests--should prove to give them a nice soft nest (should they decide to take the offering).

The cutting of my hair was both very funny and emotional at the same time.  In the end, having Todd look after my hair falling needs was more personal than having a hairdresser take care of it.  Sharing these poignant moments has been important and has brought a closeness of sorts that I believe we are both in need of.

While Todd, Graeme, Iain and I are getting used to this change, I am needing to get my head around (notice the pun…:o)) what reaction I will have from everyone that has not seen me yet with this new do and especially some of the kids in “the hood”  - I don’t want to scare them away.  I think once the initial shock is over, this will all become business as usual and I can enjoy trying out different scarf, hat and wig styles.

The thing about all this hair stuff is that it will grow back later this year, unlike some of my male counterparts in the neighborhood and some of the leaders on my old Procurement team:o) - (maybe I can apply for a job there again as I might fit in better this time:o))  Yet another silver lining…