January – August 2012: We got our “Fake Boobs” on…lalalalala….

January – August 2012: We got our “Fake Boobs” on…lalalalala….

My “Chic Gathering” was a great success as 30+ of my most awesome “breast friends” celebrated the end of my chemo journey with me.  Even though the evening fell on one of the few rainy evenings this summer, my house was able to make for a cozy scene.   There were so many more that were not able to make it due to holidays, conflicts and distance.  If they had all attended, I am not sure where we would have fit everyone as the original plan was to have the event in our back yard.

True to the generous nature of women, there was so much food, spirits and deserts that I had to have a dinner with some friends the next night to make a dent in the mountain of mouth savoring goodies that everyone brought (I had to share more after that to make sure nothing went to waste!).  I am truly blessed!:

THANK YOU!!! 

To add to the celebration, Dana brought some sugar cookies in the shape of boobs – she was “kind enough” to break one in two and gave half to me and half to my Mom based on our “missing halves” :o)

Speaking of boobs, this is part of the journey for my Mom and I that I have not spent to much time “expanding” upon.

You all know the sordid tale of my post surgery skin infection and the decision process I went through to either keep or remove the tissue expander that was inserted at the time of surgery. The result was that I kept the expander in and all has gone well through the rest of the chemo treatments.  During this time I could not keep “dangling” on my right side while we waited for the final reconstruction on the left side.  There are many relatively decent prosthetic (“fake boob”) options these days that are not too bad given the situation.  The Cancer Agency offers free prosthetics if you need assistance, however, if you have appropriate coverage or are able financially, there are many outlets that sell interesting new options.  After learning a little bit about what a prosthesis and appropriate bra might entail, I found what seemed to be a good place for such products in the phone book.  The place I found was near Metrotown and the people there were very knowledgeable, helpful and sympathetic.  The options are varied in terms of size, weight, materials, etc.  The experience is pretty interesting when you have to think about how such a product is engineered to simulate the size and weight of your natural breast so that you don’t look or feel lopsided.  Sizing is also important if you are considering tissue expansion before a full reconstruction is possible.  For me, I am a reconstruction candidate where my Mom has opted out and therefore our needs and preferences were different.  In the end we both came away with various prosthetic products that suited day-to-day needs vs “looking our best” needs vs minimizing the issues with being lopsided.  Boy what an education we both have had with respect to managing “fake boobs”.  Good thing there are options out there for us!

I thought the parody below on the lyrics of the song “New Shoes” by Paolo Nutini might add some color and humor to the “fake boob” experience.  The song is pretty upbeat and the parody is meant to be so too....enjoy...

Official Lyrics	“Updated” Lyrics
Woke up cold one Tuesday	Woke up cold one Thursday
I'm looking tired and feeling quite sick	I’m looking tired and just coming to
I felt like there was something missing in my day to day life	I felt like there was “something” missing in my day to day life
So I quickly opened the wardrobe	So I quickly took off my patient gown
Pulled out some jeans and a t-shirt that seemed clean	Pulled out some jeans and a t-shirt that seemed clean
Topped it off with a pair of old shoes	Topped it off with my old bra
That were ripped around the seams	That drooped around the left seam
And I thought these shoes just don't suit me	And I thought this bra just doesn’t suit me
[Chorus] Hey, I put some new shoes on	Hey I put my “fake boob” on
And suddenly everything is right	And suddenly everything is right
I said, hey, I put some new shoes on, and everybody's smiling	I said, hey I put my “fake boob” on and everybody’s smiling
It's so inviting	It’s so interesting
Oh, short on money	Oh, short on normal life
But long on time	But long on time :o)
Slowly strolling in the sweet sunshine	Slowly strolling in the sweet sunshine
And I'm running late	And I’m running late
And I don't need an excuse	And I don’t need an excuse
'Cause I'm wearing my brand new shoes	‘Cause I’m wearing my new “fake boob”
Woke up late one Thursday	My Mom woke up late one Friday
And I'm seeing stars as I'm rubbing my eyes	And I’m seeing stars as I’m rubbing my eyes
And I felt like there were two days missing	And I felt like this situation was just unreal
As I focused all the time	As I focused all the time
And I made my way to the kitchen	And we made our way out of this mess
But I had to stop from the shock of what I found	But I had to stop from the shock of what I found
A room full of all my friends dancing round and round	A world full of all my friends dancing round and round:o)
And I thought, "hello, new shoes	And I thought, “hello, “fake boob”
Bye bye them blues."	Bye bye them blues

[Chorus] Take me wandering through these streets Where bright lights and angels meet Stone to stone they take me on I'm walking to the break of dawn I'm walking to the break of dawn	[Chorus – hey we got our fake boobs on....”] Take me floundering through this road Where second chances and angels meet Stone to stone it takes me on I’m walking to the break of dawn I CAN walk to the break of dawn
[Chorus: x2] Take me wandering through these streets ...	[Chorus – hey we got our fake boobs on....”] Take me wandering on this road..

Hope you enjoyed this musical interlude:o)

Now that chemo is over, I was able to schedule “expansion” appointments with my plastic surgeon and time everything up with upcoming radiation.  After some deliberation and with the goal of an overall “C” cup in mind, we estimated that I would need four “expansions” to get to my desired cup size.  This helped confirm that radiation would start at the end of August or the beginning of September.  As I would also need to be “sized” up via a CT scan and prepared with tattooed dots to indicate where I should be radiated, it became clear that the beginning of September would be best (which also allowed us to take our annual vacation to Vancouver Island to get away from this mess for at least one week).

So expansion started just like the teenage girl chant goes – “I must, I must, I must increase my bust”.  The chant has a whole new for meaning now!  This is exactly what I did. I increased my bust (at least on the left side).  For now, I am the proud owner of “C” cup on my left side and a “D” cup on my right until next April or May.  Reconstruction can’t be booked until at least six months after radiation to allow the skin on the affected area to properly heal in preparation for surgery.  While I would have preferred to get the whole thing over with one go and one leave of absence, it does seem prudent to allow my body to heal before it gets invaded again with another surgery.

After just three separate injections (spread across three weeks – one injection per week) from an unbelievably large needle, I was at what both the plastic surgeon and I thought was the desired C-cup size (this also accounted for some potential constriction of the skin due to radiation) -- I think I am good to go.  I never liked being a D-cup after having babies anyway.  A C-cup will also be much more posture and fitness friendly for me.  Given that age, skin elasticity and gravity will just increase a “drooping” effect, going smaller and perkier seems like a nice choice given that I have to choose.  Who knows, maybe I will have a “hard body” and run a ½ marathon in my old age without the extra weight in the “front end”:o)

Now that I have a party in my head most days post the crazy chemo trip, all this is much easier to take.  I am not even dreading radiation yet.  I am looking forward to a great summer, bright days, rejoining my colleagues at TELUS in the probably the November timeframe and enjoying my new lease on living.

Here’s to fake boobs and choosing the size you want to be....